A Series of Events

In November of 2005 a tornado kills 25 in Kentucky and Indiana, the Goblet of Fire premieres in London, and Ellen Johnson-Sirleaf becomes first woman to lead an African country. In November 2005, a 13 year old version of me breaks the razor they used to shave their legs against the heel of their boot to strike open the skin of their forearm. This would be the first time I’d wrap a bloody body part up in toilet paper after calmly cleaning dried crimson from the bathroom floor.

By the Summer of 2006 the Hurricanes win the Stanley Cup, protesters are met by riot police for the rigged Belarusian presidential election, and the Papeete power station is damaged by fire. In the Summer of 2006, I would be asked by a friend I’d lose 5 years later why my arms were torn up. This would make a 14 year old version of me learn to hide the marks better: underneath my barely there breasts, the hips along my panty line, and always one mark on the inner thigh.

In December of 2006 a tornado in London seriously damages around 150 properties, a fire in Moscow kills 45 women at a rehab center, and one million Lebanese opposition supporters gather in downtown Beirut to call for the resignation of the government. In December of 2006, my brother would come into this world, red faced and screaming and I would marvel at how small he was. I stopped hurting myself for exactly two weeks.

In December of 2020 Joe Biden is the president elect, millions of acres across the globe have burned by now, and 1.6 million people have died from SARS-CoV-2 thus far. In December of 2020 I have said goodbye to my grandfather over 300 days ago and happy birthday for the 14th time to my brother. It has been 2 years since I threw out my last hidden razor blade and I still marvel at how easy it was to do.